Some of Our Most Popular Tees

1 10
View all

  • CI/CD Pipe

    Heads Up, Packet Sniffers!

    All orders are custom-built in our secure, air-gapped t-shirt bunker 🛡️👕—so shipping may take up to a week while we compile your pipeline.

    Need a specific t-shirt size or color? Drop it in the order notes like it’s a bug bounty report. We support all sizes and shades—no need to brute-force it.

    Because good style, like good security, isn’t one-size-fits-all.

    Add a node to the pipeline 

  • Custom Gear Mods: Because Your Stuff Deserves OPSEC Too

    Shirts are great, but let’s talk loadout. Whether you’re heading into DEF CON, Black Hat, or just the daily SOC grind, you need your gear locked down tighter than your firewall rules.
    Your backpack’s not a loot drop. We’ll mod your existing backpack or acquire a brand-new one and trick it out to your exact specs. Think custom bungees, lanyards, velcroed or quick-release straps — all designed to keep your gear attached, secure, and not mysteriously “walk off” during the chaos of a con.

    If it clips, straps, zips, or dangles, we can make it more secure (and way cooler).

    📧 How to Get Yours:
    Send an email to gobo@spanningtree.shop with what you want modded. We’ll send back a custom quote for whatever your paranoid little heart desires.

    🛑 Disclaimer: We can secure your gear, but not your dignity if you trip over your own lanyard.

How to Order (a.k.a. Initiating the Handshake)

Before you smash that Order button like it’s a misbehaving server, here’s how things work around here:

  1. Drop us a message first—don’t worry, no port scans required.

  2. You get to choose your shirt color, size, and material: cotton, polyester, blend, dri-fit, tri-blend, etc. We’ve got access to over 50+ colors, so you can match your mood, your team, or your favorite terminal theme. And it’s not just t-shirts — we can also make hoodies, polos, and even jackets (perfect for surviving those arctic-blast datacenters).
    Basically, if it exists, we can print on it — though we’re still waiting on someone to request asbestos edition for pentesting firewalls.

  3. Want the slogan tweaked? No problem — we’ll patch it like your personal config file. (No regression testing required.)

  4. Once we’ve aligned on your specs (and maybe traded a few memes), then you place your order. This ensures no surprises on either end of the firewall.

  5. After ordering, you’ll get personal updates from us directly—no automated nonsense. Just handcrafted status reports, like the artisanal sysadmin you deserve.

  6. Your custom gear will be crafted and shipped within about a week—because quality takes time and we don't believe in fast fashion or unsecured protocols.
Send us a SYN